You and I and sunny evenings.

April onward, Seattle starts showing its beautiful side that makes the thought of moving from here so hard. It has been beautiful outside and our evenings are usually spent outdoors these days.

Whatever is going in your personal life, there is just something peaceful about being outdoors with your little ones that makes you feel at least a little better.







Anya wears: Tunic from Baby Gap (

Still here, still pregnant

    I realize (also, Joey just reminded me) that is has been quite a while since I gave an update. That's because for some reason I somehow got it into my head that I have too much time on my hands and volunteered myself for a couple of side projects (you know, other than teaching yoga, working on a PhD, putting in my GA hours and growing a kid). But the semester if finally starting to wrap up, so I figured I better check in.
    Quick side note- the next person who asks me if I'm "sick of being pregnant yet?" is getting at best a crude hand gesture. Why do people ask that question? If the answer was yes, what do you hope to have accomplished by bringing it to my attention? Yep, it sucks and I still have 6-10 more weeks to go! Thanks for reminding me! I have known some women who had some really rough pregnancies. I can't imagine that they a) had forgotten for one second how much they wanted to not be pregnant or b) enjoy hearing you reiterate the idea. I'm guessing a "you are doing such a good job with that baby!" or "he/she is going to be so healthy; you're body is so amazing to be creating something so awesome!" would be much more appreciated and constructive. If in fact the women is looking for a little commiseration, I'm guessing she'll start out the conversation with "oh my God, I'm so sick of being pregnant."
    And sorry to disappoint, but no, I'm not sick of being pregnant. This entire pregnancy has been a cake walk. I would say I love being pregnant, but it feels so normal at this point that it's almost unremarkable. I mean, I guess there are some symptoms or whatever that might bug some people- my feet and hands swell, I get leg cramps, my back aches when I sit for too long, heartburn, and the fact Raptor likes to play my ribs like a xylophone....But none of them really bother me that bad. If something comes up, I deal, and then go about the rest of my day. But I can see how if a person went into pregnancy thinking it was going to be horrible, or had people constantly telling her how horrible their pregnancy was, it might seem like a pain. But no, I figure this is probably one of the most amazing things I'll accomplish in my life, so the little quirks really don't bother me at all and I'm more than happy to keep going until Raptor decides the show is over.
   Which will bring us to the grande finale. That's another question I hear a lot..."are you getting nervous?" or "are you scared?" No way. Not even a little bit. And I'm not making it up. I'm getting a little anxious and excited but only because I want to meet this kid. He/she seems to have a pretty rad personality (seriously, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm looking at my belly or a rabid cat in a pillow case). But I'm also really looking forward to bringing this baby earthside. Once again, it will probably be up there on my list of top stuff I accomplish in this lifetime. My body is going to do some pretty amazing things and I can't wait to feel and experience all of them- even the parts that are uncomfortable.
     So that's all that is really going on now. Just wrapping up school and this whole "creating life" gig. Perhaps I will have more interesting things to say once the semester is officially done?

Required Reading

   I've been going back and forth about whether or not I would like to write a bunch of my own posts about these topics or whether I should just post a bunch of links. Obviously plan B won out. It's not that I'm lazy (not entirely anyway), but I am slightly busy. And while in some cases I may offer a unique perspective, there is really no reason for me to reinvent the wheel here. Most of what I would say has already been said by someone somewhere. So instead, I am providing you with a sampling of readings on topics which I find interesting and important. Before you dive in, there are a couple of quick points I'd like to make.

1. These are not the only sources of this information. We did not base our decisions off a few quirky blogs. I have put in countless (well, about two years worth) hours researching and reading about these topics for my own curiosity, my doula stuff, and planning our life with Raptor. These just happen to be some of my favorites because they sum up the topics well, provide unique insight, and/or have great links and citations for other sources.

2. Seriously, there is a ton of information out there. Go look. For real. Research everything. Look for scholarly peer reviewed sources to back it up. And for godssake, look outside the U.S., ok? European journals are great places to go.

3. Also, most of the blogs I'm pulling stuff from are pretty awesome. Seriously, check them out. They cover a lot of topics and have some really incredible perspectives.

4. Insert usual I'm-not-trying-to-be-preachy/judgmental/whatever-these-are-simply-our-choices disclaimer here.

I'll leave a comment or two for some of the articles as well as an introduction of why the topic is important to us. Otherwise you're on your own. I'll even put them in alphabetical order, all professional like.

Attachment Parenting-

     There is apparently a lot of misunderstanding about what attachment parenting is. It seems that people get caught up in different methods and forget basic point- responding to children in an empathetic and age appropriate way in order to create caring and well adjusted individuals. Anyway, here are some good basic overviews. 

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/principles.php

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/01/130107110538.htm

Breastfeeding-

     No explanation necessary.

http://www.cdph.ca.gov/programs/breastfeeding/Documents/MO-BF-Benefits.pdf

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2010/05/14/50-reasons-for-breastfeeding-anytime-anywhere/

http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

http://www.lalecheleague.org/release/benefits.html

Circumcision-

     If it's a girl, she won't be circumsized. If it's a boy, he won't be circumsized. Genital integrity, bodily automony, and basic human rights are deserved by everyone. The is no medical justification for routine infant circumcision. Not a single medical organization in the word recommends it. But don't take my work for it, read on. The more you know, the more it turns your stomach. 

This one is probably the least technical, but it is one of my favorites because it is so straight-foward.

http://9davids.blogspot.com/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

http://www.drmomma.org/2009/11/case-against-circumcision.html

This is another excellent piece. It systematically breaks down the most common misconceptions. This link is just the first of six parts, but the others are linked at the bottom of this one. 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/myths-about-circumcision-you-likely-believe

http://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

Don't like reading? No problem. This video is fantastic. It's about 30 minutes long but totally worth it. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I

Crying it out-

     There is a ridiculous amount of peer reviewed psychology and sociology research on this subject. 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/

Discipline-

     Once again, a ton of research out there on this. Violence begets violence. Period.

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/disc.php

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/spanking/10-reasons-not-hit-your-child

Infant Sleep-

     In case you are wondering why we don't have a nursery or crib. 

http://www.evolutionaryparenting.com/sleep-a-misguided-and-unhealthy-obsession/

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/familybed.html

http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/09/cosleeping-benefits/

The Birth Plan

     If I have talked to you about birth, I have probably told you to make a birth plan. While some doctors and nurses will scoff at the idea, informing them of your choices is really only half the point. Obviously, that part is very important. But in addition, creating a birth plan will force you to think through your options and make important decisions ahead of time instead of trying to process all of the information during the heat of the moment.
     Now, since we are having a home birth we don't necessarily need a birth plan. When you deliver at a hospital, the chances are pretty good that you will not have met any of the nurses or staff. You're actually pretty lucky if your doctor is the one delivering. So it is important to have a record of your requests that you can easily distribute to whoever walks into the room. But with a home birth, we know who is going to be there. It will be the same person we have had every appointment with. We will have gone over all of our wishes, options, and decisions and will all be on the same page.
    However, in the highly unlikely event that we need to transfer to a hospital, we want to have a birth plan ready so that we can still welcome our child into the world the way we intended. I include our plan below. If you have any questions or would like the information and research behind our decisions, feel free to comment below or contact me.

Roxanne and Joey Buckman’s Birth Information

     Hello! We have been married for 2 ½ years. We moved to Tucson less than a year ago to complete our PhDs at the University of Arizona and are so excited to be welcoming the newest member of our family. Thank you so much for taking care of us. Here a few things you might want to know:

•  We are having a natural birth. Please do not offer or attempt to administer any pain medication, IV fluids, or anesthesia. We will let you know if we need it.
• Our midwife, Lia, will be with us at all times and is crucial to my labor and delivery. 
• Please assume any refusal of procedures is for religious reasons.  This includes- all medications, vaginal checks, constant electronic fetal monitoring, etc.

In the event of a cesarean section:

• Do not administer any medication that is not compatible with breastfeeding.
• My husband and our midwife, Lia, will both be present.
• Please describe the surgery and lower the screen so that we can watch our baby’s birth
• Delay cord clamping as long as possible, at least until pulsing ceases.
• Place baby directly on mom’s chest or hand to the father. All routine tests and procedures can wait.
• Baby will stay with mother throughout recovery.

Hi, my name is Perrin or Leila! Please:

• Check with my parents before performing any routine tests or procedures.
• NO eye ointment, vitamin K (oral or injection), or hepatitis B vaccination.
• I need to be with one of my parents at all times. If I must be taken from my mother, dad will stay with me.
•  No baths please!
• I am breastfeeding. I need to be skin to skin with my mom ASAP.
• No bottles, pacifiers, sugar water, or formula.
• DO NOT CIRCUMCISE. Do not attempt to retract or manipulate my foreskin.

Whoooaaahhhhhh, We're Half-way There!!!!!!!

   We are half way! I am now 21 weeks. What is that you say? I have been half-way for a week already? Not quite. I hate the idea that 20 weeks if half way, because this is based on the idea of the 40 week "due date" which is ridiculous. The average women goes into labor at 41 weeks and 1 day. The baby isn't past due or "post dates" until after the 42nd week (which is still not a big deal, and don't even get me started on the inaccuracy of due dates). So why did doctors arbitrarily decide that at 40 weeks time is up? I have no idea. But it's not for me. So I am celebrating my halfway point at the more accurate 21 weeks. In commemoration of this event, here are some "highlights" from the past few months.

- The names are now decided. If it is a boy, his name will be Perrin Allen Buckman. If it is a girl, Leila June Buckman. If you are currently pregnant and due before me  and steal our names...I will find you.

- We felt the first movement at about 19 1/2 weeks. I had just gotten out of the bath and felt a really strong thump. I put my hand on my belly and could feel the next one from the outside. Joey and came in and got to feel two more good ones, which we were pretty excited about. We figured there would be a few weeks between me feeling it on the inside and anyone being able to feel it from the outside. Now I can feel him/her wiggle around and kick pretty regularly.

- We got registered for all of our baby stuff which was exciting but also kind of depressing. There is so much junk out there. Who needs half of that crap? Maybe we are just crazy minimalist hippies, but we don't have a lot of space and I don't want to fill our house up with plastic crap we'll never use. But we got all of the essentials and were even able to set up a registry on Amazon so we could include some of our crunchy stuff (yay for placenta encapsulation supplies!).

- I have gained a solid 16 pounds thus far. Joey likes to joke that the baby will be 10 lbs. with a 15 inch head. I don't find this funny.

- I still have one pair of jeans that I can actually button! Other than that, belly bands and yoga pants are life savers. I see the maternity section looming in my near future.

- There are a lot of topics I would like to write about, but this semester is going a little fast, so I might do a post soon with nothing but links to cool resources and posts written by others. Keep an eye out.

- We have nick-named the baby Raptor. This started as a joke. People would ask if we knew what it was, referring to the sex. So under my breath, I would say to Joey "Velociraptor!" which I'm pretty sure I saw on an Ecard somewhere. So we started referring to our unborn child as the velociraptor. But that is a mouth full, so now it's just Raptor. We're creative like that.

- We discovered pretty early on that I have a gestational gluten sensitivity. I was having frequent, persistent migraines throughout the first trimester. The midwife suggested going off of gluten, but it was right before Christmas so.....that wasn't going to happen. However, after having a headache every day of my Christmas break, I decided to go cold turkey with the wheat. And wow, I hardly ever get a bad headache now. And apparently that is not super uncommon, because our birth class instructor is having the same problem.

- Speaking of child birth classes, we started our Bradley classes a few weeks ago. If you aren't familiar with the Bradly method, you should check it out. It is one of the most thorough birthing classes available. Much more useful than those weekend hospital orientations classes.

Other than all that, there is isn't much to report on. It has been a pretty smooth ride. A little heart burn here and there, but other than that and the giant belly, I wouldn't know I was pregnant. Let's hope the second half goes just as smoothly!