My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected in Oklahoma and all those who lost loved ones. It is especially heartbreaking that so many kids lost their lives, and I cant begin to imagine what their parents are going through. AP photo Go here to read a personal account by a mom and also for ways you can help. It is also a reminder for all of us that our lives can be changed in the next
Babies- Apparently Some Preparation Required
I had big plans for when the semester was over and I would have all this free time to get ready for the baby. Projects I would complete, cleaning, preparing... I made several lists. I had heard about this whole "nesting" bit and I knew once the semester was over I could allow myself to go into full nesting mode. Well, either I'm missing the whole 'nesting' gene, or no one told me that the amount of energy it requires to put on underwear in the morning at almost 9 months pregnant uses up all available desire and will to get anything else done that day. Now this wouldn't be a huge issue if it weren't for the fact that I have accomplished absolutely nothing baby wise all semester, except to accumulate baby stuff that is now filling up my yoga room. Seriously- this picture was taken yesterday.
That is all stuff that needs to be washed, sorted, put away, etc. The only thing I have accomplished is to put some toys in a box on a shelf.
Now, I blame this crazy exhaustion for the most part. It's a lot harder to constantly lug around an extra 30 lbs. than one might think. However, I think I also accidentally psyched myself into complacency regarding this whole having a baby thing in terms of time management. If you know me or possibly even ran into me on the street at any point, I'm sure I explained to you the problem with the U.S.'s obsession with due dates. Assuming for a moment that your estimated due date is accurate (which it's most likely not, unless you were charting your menstrual cycles when you got pregnant and your EDD is based on your ovulation day), that date really isn't so much a "due date" as when you are 40 weeks pregnant. It's essentially meaningless. So why is it so important for the doctor to tell you when your 40 weeks date (what I prefer to call it) is? Well, because most babies are born between 38 and 42 weeks, which means your 40 weeks is right smack in the middle. Now, some babies come a little earlier and are perfectly healthy. Some babies come past 42 and are also perfectly healthy (although it is usually recommended to begin regular non-stress tests after 42 weeks to make sure the baby is just taking extra long to cook and not being delayed because of any problems [also note- a diagnoses of cephalopelvic disproportion, macrosomia (big baby) and low amniotic fluid are incredibly inaccurate at this point. If yours and baby's vitals are fine, induction is usually unnecessary]). But for whatever reason, our society seems to demand an exact date to fixate on. Did you know rather than due dates people used to (and in some places still do) refer instead to birth seasons? What REALLY annoys the hell out of me is when people talk about their baby being "late" after the due date. No. "Late" or post-dates, is not until after 42 weeks. Up until that time, you are still "term" and it is perfectly normal, especially for first time moms who tend to go later anyway [what annoys me even more is that every single piece of medical research and literature stresses that being "late" or past 40 weeks is not a medical reason for induction and drastically increases the risk of complications including c-sections and baby spending time in the NICU and yet for some reason doctors still LOVE to induce at 38, 39, and 40 weeks]. And remember- this is all assuming that your 40 weeks date was correct, which isn't likely. So what is the point of me explaining all of this for the umpteenth time? In order to make sure I didn't fall into the trap of fixating on my "due date" and to discourage people from asking me "why is the baby late?", "are you going to get induced soon?", "are you sure everything is okay?!" I have always envisioned this baby coming at 42 weeks. Which led me to plan as if this baby is coming at 42 weeks, which means I still have a little over 6 weeks to get all this stuff done.
However, you may have spotted the problem with this plan. While it is entirely possible that I do in fact go all the way to 42, it is also entirely possible that this baby decides to make an appearance sooner. Possibly in 2 weeks. Which means I should probably at least have one clean diaper and blanket ready by then. This realization keeps sneaking up on Joey and I as we plan different things. We've gotten into the habit of saying we have "plenty of time!" before the baby gets here to do A,B, or C, but then we realize that in fact we may have very little time and should probably be at least be semi-prepared. So I started with the most urgent thing first- I purchased all of the birth supplies I will need. I'm now at least equipped to get the baby here. My goal this week is to actually get all the stuff that is in that room squared away. And then hopefully I'll still have some time after that to do some things around the house. I do believe that the mother's psychological preparedness has a lot to do with when a baby is born. The hormonal interplay that starts and sustains labor is incredibly sensitive and the presence of any stressors can delay labor significantly. I'm not sure if procrastination is physiologically recognized as being psychologically unprepared, but maybe it will at least buy me some time? So long story short- if you have any extra "nesting" energy in your psychic stores, feel free to send some my way. Because I have a load of baby clothes to hang on the line, but honestly a nap sounds way more appealing.
You and I and sunny evenings.
April onward, Seattle starts showing its beautiful side that makes the thought of moving from here so hard. It has been beautiful outside and our evenings are usually spent outdoors these days.
Whatever is going in your personal life, there is just something peaceful about being outdoors with your little ones that makes you feel at least a little better.
Anya wears: Tunic from Baby Gap (
Whatever is going in your personal life, there is just something peaceful about being outdoors with your little ones that makes you feel at least a little better.
Anya wears: Tunic from Baby Gap (
Still here, still pregnant
I realize (also, Joey just reminded me) that is has been quite a while since I gave an update. That's because for some reason I somehow got it into my head that I have too much time on my hands and volunteered myself for a couple of side projects (you know, other than teaching yoga, working on a PhD, putting in my GA hours and growing a kid). But the semester if finally starting to wrap up, so I figured I better check in.
Quick side note- the next person who asks me if I'm "sick of being pregnant yet?" is getting at best a crude hand gesture. Why do people ask that question? If the answer was yes, what do you hope to have accomplished by bringing it to my attention? Yep, it sucks and I still have 6-10 more weeks to go! Thanks for reminding me! I have known some women who had some really rough pregnancies. I can't imagine that they a) had forgotten for one second how much they wanted to not be pregnant or b) enjoy hearing you reiterate the idea. I'm guessing a "you are doing such a good job with that baby!" or "he/she is going to be so healthy; you're body is so amazing to be creating something so awesome!" would be much more appreciated and constructive. If in fact the women is looking for a little commiseration, I'm guessing she'll start out the conversation with "oh my God, I'm so sick of being pregnant."
And sorry to disappoint, but no, I'm not sick of being pregnant. This entire pregnancy has been a cake walk. I would say I love being pregnant, but it feels so normal at this point that it's almost unremarkable. I mean, I guess there are some symptoms or whatever that might bug some people- my feet and hands swell, I get leg cramps, my back aches when I sit for too long, heartburn, and the fact Raptor likes to play my ribs like a xylophone....But none of them really bother me that bad. If something comes up, I deal, and then go about the rest of my day. But I can see how if a person went into pregnancy thinking it was going to be horrible, or had people constantly telling her how horrible their pregnancy was, it might seem like a pain. But no, I figure this is probably one of the most amazing things I'll accomplish in my life, so the little quirks really don't bother me at all and I'm more than happy to keep going until Raptor decides the show is over.
Which will bring us to the grande finale. That's another question I hear a lot..."are you getting nervous?" or "are you scared?" No way. Not even a little bit. And I'm not making it up. I'm getting a little anxious and excited but only because I want to meet this kid. He/she seems to have a pretty rad personality (seriously, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm looking at my belly or a rabid cat in a pillow case). But I'm also really looking forward to bringing this baby earthside. Once again, it will probably be up there on my list of top stuff I accomplish in this lifetime. My body is going to do some pretty amazing things and I can't wait to feel and experience all of them- even the parts that are uncomfortable.
So that's all that is really going on now. Just wrapping up school and this whole "creating life" gig. Perhaps I will have more interesting things to say once the semester is officially done?
Quick side note- the next person who asks me if I'm "sick of being pregnant yet?" is getting at best a crude hand gesture. Why do people ask that question? If the answer was yes, what do you hope to have accomplished by bringing it to my attention? Yep, it sucks and I still have 6-10 more weeks to go! Thanks for reminding me! I have known some women who had some really rough pregnancies. I can't imagine that they a) had forgotten for one second how much they wanted to not be pregnant or b) enjoy hearing you reiterate the idea. I'm guessing a "you are doing such a good job with that baby!" or "he/she is going to be so healthy; you're body is so amazing to be creating something so awesome!" would be much more appreciated and constructive. If in fact the women is looking for a little commiseration, I'm guessing she'll start out the conversation with "oh my God, I'm so sick of being pregnant."
And sorry to disappoint, but no, I'm not sick of being pregnant. This entire pregnancy has been a cake walk. I would say I love being pregnant, but it feels so normal at this point that it's almost unremarkable. I mean, I guess there are some symptoms or whatever that might bug some people- my feet and hands swell, I get leg cramps, my back aches when I sit for too long, heartburn, and the fact Raptor likes to play my ribs like a xylophone....But none of them really bother me that bad. If something comes up, I deal, and then go about the rest of my day. But I can see how if a person went into pregnancy thinking it was going to be horrible, or had people constantly telling her how horrible their pregnancy was, it might seem like a pain. But no, I figure this is probably one of the most amazing things I'll accomplish in my life, so the little quirks really don't bother me at all and I'm more than happy to keep going until Raptor decides the show is over.
Which will bring us to the grande finale. That's another question I hear a lot..."are you getting nervous?" or "are you scared?" No way. Not even a little bit. And I'm not making it up. I'm getting a little anxious and excited but only because I want to meet this kid. He/she seems to have a pretty rad personality (seriously, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm looking at my belly or a rabid cat in a pillow case). But I'm also really looking forward to bringing this baby earthside. Once again, it will probably be up there on my list of top stuff I accomplish in this lifetime. My body is going to do some pretty amazing things and I can't wait to feel and experience all of them- even the parts that are uncomfortable.
So that's all that is really going on now. Just wrapping up school and this whole "creating life" gig. Perhaps I will have more interesting things to say once the semester is officially done?
Required Reading
I've been going back and forth about whether or not I would like to write a bunch of my own posts about these topics or whether I should just post a bunch of links. Obviously plan B won out. It's not that I'm lazy (not entirely anyway), but I am slightly busy. And while in some cases I may offer a unique perspective, there is really no reason for me to reinvent the wheel here. Most of what I would say has already been said by someone somewhere. So instead, I am providing you with a sampling of readings on topics which I find interesting and important. Before you dive in, there are a couple of quick points I'd like to make.
1. These are not the only sources of this information. We did not base our decisions off a few quirky blogs. I have put in countless (well, about two years worth) hours researching and reading about these topics for my own curiosity, my doula stuff, and planning our life with Raptor. These just happen to be some of my favorites because they sum up the topics well, provide unique insight, and/or have great links and citations for other sources.
2. Seriously, there is a ton of information out there. Go look. For real. Research everything. Look for scholarly peer reviewed sources to back it up. And for godssake, look outside the U.S., ok? European journals are great places to go.
3. Also, most of the blogs I'm pulling stuff from are pretty awesome. Seriously, check them out. They cover a lot of topics and have some really incredible perspectives.
4. Insert usual I'm-not-trying-to-be-preachy/judgmental/whatever-these-are-simply-our-choices disclaimer here.
I'll leave a comment or two for some of the articles as well as an introduction of why the topic is important to us. Otherwise you're on your own. I'll even put them in alphabetical order, all professional like.
1. These are not the only sources of this information. We did not base our decisions off a few quirky blogs. I have put in countless (well, about two years worth) hours researching and reading about these topics for my own curiosity, my doula stuff, and planning our life with Raptor. These just happen to be some of my favorites because they sum up the topics well, provide unique insight, and/or have great links and citations for other sources.
2. Seriously, there is a ton of information out there. Go look. For real. Research everything. Look for scholarly peer reviewed sources to back it up. And for godssake, look outside the U.S., ok? European journals are great places to go.
3. Also, most of the blogs I'm pulling stuff from are pretty awesome. Seriously, check them out. They cover a lot of topics and have some really incredible perspectives.
4. Insert usual I'm-not-trying-to-be-preachy/judgmental/whatever-these-are-simply-our-choices disclaimer here.
I'll leave a comment or two for some of the articles as well as an introduction of why the topic is important to us. Otherwise you're on your own. I'll even put them in alphabetical order, all professional like.
Attachment Parenting-
There is apparently a lot of misunderstanding about what attachment parenting is. It seems that people get caught up in different methods and forget basic point- responding to children in an empathetic and age appropriate way in order to create caring and well adjusted individuals. Anyway, here are some good basic overviews.
Breastfeeding-
No explanation necessary.
Circumcision-
If it's a girl, she won't be circumsized. If it's a boy, he won't be circumsized. Genital integrity, bodily automony, and basic human rights are deserved by everyone. The is no medical justification for routine infant circumcision. Not a single medical organization in the word recommends it. But don't take my work for it, read on. The more you know, the more it turns your stomach.
This one is probably the least technical, but it is one of my favorites because it is so straight-foward.
This is another excellent piece. It systematically breaks down the most common misconceptions. This link is just the first of six parts, but the others are linked at the bottom of this one.
Don't like reading? No problem. This video is fantastic. It's about 30 minutes long but totally worth it.
Crying it out-
There is a ridiculous amount of peer reviewed psychology and sociology research on this subject.
Discipline-
Once again, a ton of research out there on this. Violence begets violence. Period.
Infant Sleep-
In case you are wondering why we don't have a nursery or crib.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)